Dr. Matt Lee (mattl)

Sometimes things don’t always work out the way you want. Sometimes the things you want so much never come along, and you have to find a way to deal with that. Looking back at nearly ten years of CNUK, I find myself feeling bad about all the things I wanted to do, and never did. Sometimes, I’d make excuses, sometimes I’d just not say anything. The important thing is, I don’t think CNUK has ever been a failure. When you’re doing your own thing, running it all yourself and paying for it out of your own pocket, you can’t fail at it because it’s yours. You hold it so close to your heart, it’s like a piece of you, and sometimes when I feel down about the world, I look at what I’ve achieved here, and it might not be much, and whatever we do might not be the funniest, or the best, or the most well produced, and while I knew this, I never admitted it, not even to myself.
I’m happy to admit that now.
Moving on, things will be better. I can stop pretending that somehow everything we do is perfect. Sometimes, things that are rough around the edges are the most beautiful. A handwritten letter is more beautiful than the nicest typed letter will ever be. The idea that I can just put up something on here and people will read it excites me, and moving forward I know that not everything has to be perfect. Perfection will be achieved by having a place where creativity can happen, not by trying to refine the process.
This is my new perfection.