My letter to KFC (2006)
Dear KFC Company,
I am writing from my bed, as I am terribly confused by the KFC corporate logo. For many years, I have been plagued by the notion that Colonel Sanders may have suffer from gigantism, brought on by the ‘special’ recipe that would ultimately be his downfall.
You see, to the casual onlooker, it really does appear that Col. Sanders was a giant head on a very small, stick like body. In order to demonstrate this more clearly, I have mocked up a new image, using the head of the well known actor, Brian Blessed.
As you can see, Mr Blessed’s head is huge in comparison to his body, and yet WE KNOW THIS TO NOT BE TRUE, and yet I am unable to find any photographic evidence that Colonel Sanders did not waste away, thin and unsightly, nor can I find photographs that prove he did not have a massive head on an otherwise small body, and yet this image appears to be printed on virtually everything produced by your company.
Please clarify the situation for me, so I may one day live in a world without fear of giant Colonels fighting Brian Blessed over hot wings and other deep fried battered poultry.
Yours, with love,
matt
Published: Mon Jul 10 2006 17:29:24 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time) by Dr. Matt Lee