Dr. Matt Lee (mattl)

Dear Wall’s,

I wish to complain about one of your products, namely Solero Orange Fresh, purchased from the Shell garage at Countess Weir roundabout in Exeter on Sunday 11th of June, 2006. The nature of my complaint is not from the flavour or quality of the ice lolly itself, which was rather nice, if somewhat marred by the following experience…

It was 14:07pm when it happened. I recall this as I stared blankly at the clock on the dashboard of the car I was travelling in, desperately seeking something which was not to be found. I badly needed a napkin, a cup – anything, something to hold the lion’s share of the lolly which had without warning, sprung from its stick without hesitancy and into my lap. The ice cold demon had, without forethought brought about a sudden ending to my ice cream experience, leaving me with a sticky and somewhat unpleasant stain on my t-shirt and a chilly scramble to remove the product from my lap and dump it out of the window – something no civilised human should have to suffer on a Sunday.

I hope you are able to use this information to develop a superior stick for what is normally a superior ice cream beverage in what is typically an area of consumption in which you excel.

Yours, with love,

matt